Cooking with Klaus
A review of the visionary's imaginative perspective on post-reset zero-sum cuisine
It is with great pride we can finally disclose our luck in obtaining a reviewer's copy of Klaus Schwab's long-awaited cookbook. Thankfully, rumors about an official presentation that would be forthcoming in the context of Gordon Ramsey's relaunch of Hell's Kitchen have abated. It would have seemed to us, after exuberantly perusing and testing the veritable treasure trove of recipes, exactly the type of superfluous pandering to pleasure that the venerable writer is sure to kick a dent in.
The book is organized around different themes that he sets out to tackle at a theoretical level in the introduction. As we flip through it, we can hardly resist proceeding to the actual recipes as the luscious culinary suggestions vie for our attention. Due to lack of space, we cannot discuss all chapters, but we did not want to deprive you of a selection of the topics he manages to cover. From chapter 1: Waste to Want, to chapter 17: Revisiting the North-Korean Palate, via chapter 5: Game from your own Garden, 11: Autarchy as an Appetizer, 12: Aztec Fare, and chapter 15: 12 Tricks for Aging a Cadaver: the copious ideas are simply too many, and too good to resist.
Lest the reader were to infer that the book was dedicated to senseless pleasure, we may want to share the three recurring principles on which Chef Schwab has based this true culinary masterpiece. Particularly convincing is his plea for therapeutic gnawing, which he argues will eventually reduce our dependency on swallowing as the epitome of senseless consumerist superficiality. Admirable is his call for the deselection of species and the banishment of foreign breeds to their place of origin. He demonstrates with a forceful moral argument that, as far as going local is concerned, we really ought to put our mouth where our money was. Did you know - because the whole book is brimming with such encouraging pieces of trivia - that only 2% of the world's population is morally entitled to a cup of coffee? Only about the third recurring thread we feel Schwab could have been more consistent. As charming as his crusade for cooking with candles is, we wonder if it would not have been more consistent to head for more raw preparations directly. We understand, of course, that a man with the moderate tendencies and the sense of humility of our author probably feels it would not necessarily manifest the right persuasive charm to have people peek too far beyond the horizon.
Worth special mention is the fond description of his personal favorite, mole pie, which he has embellished with his personal memories of growing up in an inventive national environment of democratic socialist practices, where his mother inculcated him with the importance of self-sufficiency and the aversion to luxury we all know him for today. His reminiscing on his parents' exacting directions for dissecting this underappreciated variety of specialty meat is moving and riveting at the same time. Endearing is the full-color page of the man with his collection of claws, gathered over many decades of dedicated cookery.
We highly recommend this exquisite piece of food writing. Especially for those who still expect food to be physically satisfying and to fulfill material human needs, it can be an eye-opener. He demonstrates how it still is only through our suffering that he can lay claim to the elevated moral stature he is humble enough to aspire to.
Now I realise that Klaus S reminds me of a mole. He's so similar. He lives in the dark, seems to hate the whole of his own species and only causes destruction.
Wait wait cadavers?